This past weekend, my husband and I celebrated our one year anniversary. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long at all. We’ve experienced a lot through this year, some of it not so much fun, but we’ve been able to get through it.
There were plenty of awkward things to get used to as well. When you start living with someone, even though you love them, you start to notice some . . . not so adorable things. However, I’m very lucky to have a great husband that does everything pretty much perfectly–except for the fact that he takes forever long showers.
But at least he’s clean!!
I’ll take a man who takes longer to shower than me over a man who doesn’t shower often enough any time.
Even though I’m not super experienced in marriage, here are my top five tips for surviving the first year of marriage.
Be straight forward about your needs.
When you first get married, you want everything to be perfect. You’re over the moon in love with this person and perhaps you’ve just moved in together. You don’t want to get into any sort of contention, no matter how small. While you don’t want to make mountains out of mole hills, you also don’t want to let things simmer and then explode.
You can’t get mad at someone about something if you never told them that it bothered you.
Whether you need some extra time in the mirror or you like complete and utter silence in the morning, go ahead and tell your partner.
Listen to their needs.
Of course, if you want them to cater to your needs, you need to cater to theirs. You care for this person, right? Do what you can to help them feel comfortable in this new arrangement and, if they are a good person, they will do the same for you.
Cook and clean together.
Doing chores together can help you bond not only because you are spending time together, but also because you’re taking care of your home together.
Even though this may seem like a small thing, the small things are what build a marriage.
Also, if you’re like us and live in a small apartment, cleaning and cooking so closely can lead to some great cuddle time.
Get your money situation figured out.
For real though. I’ve seen too many people, let alone newly married people, struggle with their finances. Too many good relationships have broken up because of money. Even before you even get married, you should talk to one other about your debts, your goals, and your spending habits.
I’ve dated men who had over $40,000 of credit card debt. It wasn’t college loan debt, they just couldn’t get their shopping habits under control. Even if this is their only flaw, and they are otherwise fantastic, you still need to know so you can be prepared for the future.
My husband and I made a flexible budget for our monthly expenses and then we allowed $20 per month of “no questions asked money”. This money is essentially cash that we can spend on whatever we want. We can spend it immediately or save it. I’m more of a spender than a saver, and James is more of a saver, but we are extremely happy with our arrangement.
Don’t forget about your friends and family.
Right after you get married, it makes sense that you will disappear from the rest of the world. However, you don’t want to shut everyone out forever. Hang out with your friends and family as a couple, and as an individual. Take the time to keep in touch with other loved ones, and always remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Thanks for the visit and for sharing your energy with me today.