I started my minimalist journey before I got married and even then I was just barely getting into it. I had a very specific aesthetic in mind, what I wanted “minimalism” to look like in my home, and what was and was not acceptable. My husband, in some ways, is a natural minimalist. He wears the same type of clothes every day, avoids purchasing new things until they are completely and utterly dead (he’s had his phone for 8 years) and he believes in carrying as little as possible with him.
However, he is a bit of a hoarder in some aspects. He’s a lot more sentimental than I am, so he’s held onto a lot of toys and other bits and bobs from his childhood. I’ve only kept the most important things from that time in my life, but his fills quite a few more bins than mine.
At first, this bugged me a little. I had wanted things to be a very particular way and I believed that these things were going to mar the look and lifestyle I was going for.
After further examination and after living with my husband for a while, I came to realize that minimalism isn’t about an aesthetic. It’s about the lifestyle itself. As I said, he is very much a minimalist and he’s been very sweet in all his dealings with me (bless that man!). I know there are a lot of things that I hold onto that he doesn’t understand (shoes) and he lets me keep those without any complaint (except the occasional raised eyebrow).
Minimalism, while it maybe my goal, isn’t necessarily his. I have to let him live the way he wants to live and we’ll be much happier for it. Besides, because of his past (the details of which I will not divulge here), it makes sense that he would hold onto a few things very tightly. While I may not see those same types of things as sentimental, he does and that’s okay. He’s not holding onto trash and he’s not bringing any more things into the home with him. It’s perfectly okay to keep those things that make you happy as long as they aren’t hurting anyone.
My husband and I work very well in many ways, even with minimalism. It looks different for the both of us, but we’re still doing our best with what we have.
Thank you for sharing your energy with me today.